NONESENSE
nonsense n 1 syn GIBBERISH, babble, drivel, jabberwocky, skimble-skamble 2 something uttered or proposd that seems senseless or absurd syn applesauce, balderdash, baloney, blague, blah, bushwa, fiddle-faddle, flapdoodle, flimflam, fummadiddle, gook, hooey, jiggery-pokery, malarkey, meshuggaas, pishposh, piffle, poppycock, slipslop, tomfoolery, twaddle, whangdoodle, windbaggery
So, I guess you expect to read something interesting here, huh? Something that will make you laugh, then make you really emotional, then will make you think, and finally, at the end, leave a mark in your heart that you will never forget? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you won't. All you'll see here is nothing but nonsense so better leave now and do something more important (like do your homework, go brush your teeth, tell your mom how much you love her, change the whole outlook of mankind or something...). But if you really really really really really really really (Whew! That's a lot of really's!) have nothing better to do except sit around and read boring and unimportant articles like this, then go on. After all, who am I to stop you? I'm just an ordinary person who writes stuff like this for people like you to read...
Now, on to a new paragraph, Honestly, I don't see the need for a new paragraph. It's just that if an article contains just one long block of text, readers tend to pass it up. Ironic, isn't it? In style, I'm trying to do my best so you won't skip this article yet on the first paragraph, I'm telling you to not continue. Basically, I want you to read this even if I know that you'll be bored in doing so. Gosh! Am I really that cruel? Oh, I sure hope not. I don't wanna be remembered as the cruel bitch who just wrote about nonsense. (Just in case you're wondering: Yes, I am a girl, but I'm no bitch... promise!)
Hey, does it sound like I hate my life? I don't. Bitches do, but as I said, I'm not one of them. To tell you the truth, I love life and hate people who say it sucks. I mean, life is a very precious thing that we can only get once (unlike, say, a piece of clothing which we can buy any day of the week). Once we waste it, that's it. Game over. No second chances. (Here's a sort-of-connected fact: Someone told me that in Japan, they have this thought of how an "ideal" family should be -- with exact age gaps and stuff. I think it's for what they call population control. Anyway, when an 'accident' happens - if you know what I mean - they wait first for the time the child is due then when the child's head is seen, the mid-wife chokes him. Then, they make little statues of these now-dead-once-newborn babies and display them somewhere in town to honor their memories. There, tourists can ooh and aah over these adorable things not knowing how horrific the stories are behind them. Now, is that ideal or what?) I also write optimistically most of the time. I guess I'm just trying dark right now because almost all writers who become famous ARE dark. If I continue writing stuff that noone will read (Ya right, as if I can write ANYTHING that people would want to read anyway), then where the hell will my life lead to? Think about it. It's not just about greed or being conceited, it's about the future and having to survive this amazing, yet scary thing called real life. Or maybe, I AM conceited. Just so you know, I already wrote a total of 29 I's in this article! (You can count if you don't believe me.) Oww!!! Ouch, ouch ouch! My head suddenly hurts. I (oops, there goes another one!) think I'm having thinking cramps from thinking so much! Next paragraph, please!
I apologize for the run-on sentences, fragments, over repetition of words and other grammatical errors. Since this IS nonsense, I couldn't care less for the English language's grammar rules' version of War and Peace. I also have this bad habit of repeating words over and over throughout an essay. I'm sorry. I just don't like using words that even I don't understand. On second thought, it's not really my fault that this piece of literature turned out this way. Blame the lit editor. It's her job to edit, isn't it? (No offense, Meewee!)
By the way, I'm writing nonsense, ain't I? (Hence the title, duh?!) Does that mean my life is worthless and meaningless for I have nothing better to do but write nonsense? On the other hand, you're still reading this... What does that make you?
Can't say I'm surprised you're still here though. Most people don't have anything to contribute to improve mankind anyway. They just do nonsense, talk nonsense, write nonsense and read nonsense. Fortunately, I'm about to end this. I feel a little good about it too 'cause somehow I stopped someone (you) from reading nonsense in this world.
Finally, the last paragraph. Almost all good essays end with a quote or a memorable remark to finish with. Yet since this is no extra-ordinary essay, (you might even say it's bad) I won't. Told you there's nothing but nonsense here. Huh? Did you say something? WHAT?! You think I wasted valuable minutes of your so-called-life by making you read this? How dare you?! Don't blame me, idiot! I warned you enough on the first paragraph!
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